Cosmic Crusade Chronicles by Sculforge is the second album by the German Power Metal band and is, according to the press release;
“… a.concept album that seamlessly picks up the story from their 2023 debut, Intergalactic Battle Tunes, raising the stakes in terms of intensity and creativity. Across 11 tracks, Cosmic Crusade Chronicles moves at full throttle, capturing the madness and power that have become hallmarks of Sculforge’s sound.”
Which would be all well and good if it weren’t for two words. Power. Metal.
You see, I have a problem with Power Metal, especially European Power Metal, in that as far as I’m concerened, it all sounds the fucking same. It’s like nearly every band in the genre heard Helloween’s Keeper of The Seven Key’s and thought: ‘Yep, that’ll do us’, before proceeding to bang up substandard copy after copy of that record, which they continue to do and will continue to do until the planet spins off its axis and throws us, screaming, into the sun.
It is safe to say that I am not a fan….
However, perhaps Sculforge could change my opinion on Power Metal, with Cosmic Crusade Chronicles, and open a door to a form of music that has so far been locked to me?
Yeah… no. Not even close.
Cosmic Crusade Chronicles suffers from the same ailments as all the other Power Metal albums I have ever heard. Don’t get me wrong, technically it is superb, as you would expect from any band of the genre. Let’s face it, you don’t form a group like this if you can’t lay down the licks and riffs, but outside of that, Cosmic Crusade Chronicles is just another cut and paste, paint by numbers affair.
It doesn’t do anything for me. At all. The drums are at the same pace throughout, the guitars and bass follow the same patterns to the point where the only time you can tell that you are listening to a different song is when the obligatory power ballad, Edge of The Universe, kicks in and slows proceedings down.
Which it does as track number four, which is another standard trope for Power Metal. Get the obvious single in around three or four, so everyone can get their lighters in the air.
Now, the band, their fans, and connoisseurs of Power Metal may ask, ‘Who are you to judge when you can’t play that well?’ To which I will hold up my hands and say, ‘You’re right, I don’t have anywhere the skill that Sculforge do, but that’s not the point.’
At least, not to me.
I don’t care about how well somebody can play. For example, I get as much enjoyment out of listening to the New York Dolls as I do from listening to Led Zeppelin. What I care about is the emotions a band or artist sparks in me. That little piece of magic that makes me feel a connection to what I’m listening to. Sadly, with Sculforge and Cosmic Crusade Chronicles all I feel is a sense of having been down this road before and that the scenery was as cliched as hell.
I know what I like and I know what I hate, and even though that might be a little harsh of a word to describe my feelings towards this album, it sure as shit doesn’t come close to convincing me that I should be kicking down the doors to the world of Power Metal anytime soon.
If you Power Metal, you’ll like this, and you can get your copy here or stream it via Spotify.
RATING: 1.5 OUT OF 5
RATING SYSTEM:
- 0 – 1: Fucking shit
- 1 – 2: Shit
- 2 – 3: Not Bad Shit
- 3 – 4: Pretty Good Shit
- 4 – 5: Amazing Fucking Shit
- 5: The Best Shit You Will Ever Hear
PRESS SOURCE: Against PR
